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| And Look Forward to a Positive Birth! by Sarah Holland MAR EFT-CC of www.sarah-holland.co.uk It doesn’t matter whether you are usually a bag of nerves, completely chilled, or somewhere in between, if you are pregnant you will find that there is a lot to worry and stress about. You have nine months of not only having to focus on your own health and well being, but also that of the baby you are carrying. You face a barrage of medical tests and procedures, not to mention the labour which you will be repeatedly hearing about in many different dramatic versions from everyone you meet! Add to that the changes your body is going through, the endless decisions and plans, the fact that you are actually going to become parents, and mix this all up with a cocktail of rioting hormones… No wonder you are stressed! Yes, pregnancy is a miracle and a momentously happy time in your life, but it is one of the most stressful too. (In fact it is listed as the twelfth most stressful life event on the Holmes & Rahe Scale 1967). You may have heard that small amounts of stress can be good for you, for example when working to deadline, and stress may help us to react in an emergency. However pregnancy and birth are natural events in our lives which do not require stress and fear, and can only be improved with a positive, relaxed approach. If you are doubting whether you need to follow these 5 steps to have a relaxed pregnancy and birth, read on to see why reducing stress, worry and fears should be your very TOP priority for you, your partner and your baby. Less worry and fear during your pregnancy will mean: - you will be able to think and react logically and rationally so be more in control - you will be able to manage pain better - your body will not be in the ‘Fight Or Flight Response’ on high alert to react to danger, but more relaxed so your body can respond naturally during birth - you may be at less risk of developing high blood pressure and other anxiety related disorders - you will be able to enjoy the experience of pregnancy and birth Whatever stage you are in your pregnancy and however you are feeling, take a minute now to read through these 5 steps. You have nothing to lose, but a huge amount to gain. Step 1 - Gain Back Control Maintaining responsible jobs, homes and relationships can mean that being in control is extremely important to us. However from the moment you read your positive pregnancy test result a great deal has been taken out of your control. The changes in your body are out of your control. Your finances may be out of control. Your whole future may feel out of control. The uncertainties of pregnancy, labour and becoming a parent can be scary to face and may sap your self-confidence and sense of well being. However there is a lot that is within your control, or can be with a little work. Whenever you have decisions and plans to make about your pregnancy and birth, you have the chance to take back control over what will or will not happen. There may be some elements that you are happy to leave undecided and up to chance, but for the ones that you are not ensure that you take time to plan and make a decision as soon as you can. This way you will feel that you are in control over the situation as much as you possibly can be. Some practical ways you can gain back control are: - Write a birth plan. Make sure it states what is important to you and cover every eventuality. Visit this link for the NCT’s advice on writing your birth plan: http://www.nctpregnancyandbabycare.com/page.asp?page=831 - Have your hospital bag packed in plenty of time. Don’t leave it half packed thinking that you will have time to finish it later – get it done now! See this link to see what you should pack: http://www.nctpregnancyandbabycare.com/page.asp?page=961 - Plan your route to the hospital and keep the petrol in the car topped up. - Plan your maternity leave as soon as you can so you know from early on what date you will finish work. Something to look forward to…! - Make sure your husband/partner is easily contactable at all times. - If you have other children, plan early who will look after them when you go into labour. There are many other ways that you can gain back some control. Any time that you can make a decision or plan about your pregnancy, birth or new baby take that opportunity and know that it is another step towards having a relaxed pregnancy and positive birth. Step 2 - Get Informed If this is your first baby you may feel like you are stepping into the great unknown. There seems to be so much to learn and remember, and so much to think of. It would be much easier just to bury your head in the sand, wouldn’t it? Wrong! Being uninformed and in the dark about your pregnancy and birth is just another way to store up worries and anxieties for later. Also remember that you are not a trained medical professional (my apologies if you actually are, but the majority of readers won’t be!) so you are not expected to know everything. Here are some ways to get informed and reduce worry: - Ask questions. Your midwife may tell you that your blood pressure is 140 over 90 and there is protein in your urine. If you don’t know what this means ASK! Not asking when you are unsure of something will just make you worry more. And even the smallest doubts left unattended to can turn into major worries. That is hardly what we want for your relaxed pregnancy is it?! - Make the most of your appointments. Whenever you have an appointment with your midwife or doctor ask all the questions that you want to, even the silly ones that you are embarrassed about. They are sure to have heard it all before. If you are worried that you won’t remember, write them down and take time to read through your list during your appointment. Try not to feel rushed – remember the appointment is your time. - Get support at your appointments. If you really don’t like going to midwife or doctor appointments and are afraid that you may not be able to ask the questions you want to, take your partner or a good friend along for support. Tell them what you want to find out during the appointment and ask them to stop you from forgetting to ask! - Get the support you need in labour. Mothers sometimes feel like they have been forgotten in labour – that the birth is just being ‘done’ to them and they don’t really know what is going on. Brief your birth partner beforehand and ask them to be your voice so you don’t have to worry about making yourself heard. Get them to ask any questions you have and insist on an answer for you, so you are not wasting your energy and can focus on giving birth to your baby. - Do not listen to hearsay or old wives’ tales. Friends, family and people you have never even met before will be delighted to pass on their ‘knowledge’ about pregnancy to you. But don’t take their word as gospel and always do your own research from reputable sources. Remember ‘The Golden Rule’: Ask, ask and ask again until you are happy that you know! Step 3 - Make Time For You! And I mean you, not your bump! If this is your first child these few remaining weeks or months will be the last time in your entire life when you will be able to concentrate on just you. And if this isn’t your first child, you already know what is involved in having a new baby to care for, so make the most of this relatively peaceful time! Start straight away by marking some ME TIME into your diary. If you are working this may be limited to one evening a week, or a few hours at the weekend. But once you are on maternity leave you can increase this time to as much as you can possibly fit into your day! How you use this time is entirely up to you and no one else. Spend it alone, with friends – whichever you prefer. But what is most important is that it should be unashamedly focused on just you. So I’m not going to tell you how to spend that time as only you know what you love to do but as a guideline choose things that are: - Pampering and relaxing, e.g. facials, massages, pedicures - Absorbing, e.g. read some good books, paint, write poetry - Special to you. Perhaps you have hobbies and passions that you usually have little time for, and will have no time for when the baby is here! Use your time wisely, use it on you, and most importantly… put it in your diary NOW! Step 4 - Get Excited About Your Baby This step is short and sweet and it may seem like an obvious one. I’m not trying to be patronising - honestly! It saddens me that we can get so caught up in the worry, anxiety and uncertainty of pregnancy and birth, that we don’t spend enough time simply looking forward to our babies. If you focus on the end result – the beautiful baby you will be holding in your arms – the stresses and discomfort of pregnancy, and the anxiety about birth can recede into the background. So make sure that you take the chance to immerse yourself into the planning and preparation for the arrival of the newest member of your family. And get really, REALLY excited!! After all this is the fun part of pregnancy, and you don’t want it to be overshadowed by fear or worry. So enjoy your name choosing, nursery decorating and teeny-weeny clothes buying! You know that you are lucky and blessed to be having this baby. It just doesn’t hurt to remind yourself now and again. Step 5 - Face Your Fears - And Work On Them! All the positive thinking and rationalising in the world can’t always overcome real fears and phobias that you may have about pregnancy, birth and becoming a mother. The first positive step you can take to eradicate your fears is to own up to them and face them. Please do not be ashamed about having these fears. They are very common and you are by no means the only woman feeling this way (it’s just that we don’t often tell others about our deepest fears, so you won’t know about theirs and they won’t know about yours!). Fear, phobias and anxieties about pregnancy and birth are completely understandable as this is a massive life change that you are going through. As mentioned earlier in this article, pregnancy has been listed twelfth on the scale of the most stressful life events, just behind the serious illness of a loved one and redundancy! However just because these fear and anxieties are common and understandable, doesn’t mean that you should have to accept them as a normal part of pregnancy. Also remember that although many people will share the same fears that you have, there are also many people who are not scared at all. Some people are not scared about the pain of labour. Some are not scared about the thought of having an episiotomy or stitches. And others are not scared about being out of control in childbirth. What I am trying to say is that if there are women who can go through pregnancy and labour without fears and anxieties then it is perfectly possible for you to do so too. You may have found that by reading through the 4 steps above and putting some points into action you have been able to overcome some anxieties and worries, and are already enjoying your pregnancy more. However if you still have any fears – large or small – there is an easy technique that can often eliminate them completely. As a private complementary health practitioner I have been working with pregnant women for years and have observed that certain techniques can help promote a relaxed and healthy pregnancy and a short, uncomplicated birth. There is one particular method called Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) that works to eliminate all types of negative emotions. It works with fears and phobias, anxieties, stress, guilt, panic and much much more. The theory behind EFT is that all negative emotions are caused by an imbalance within the body’s energy system. Therefore if we can remove the imbalance, the negative emotion is dissolved too. Using EFT is very simple and extremely effective. EFT is carried out in a one-to-one consultation, either over the phone or in person. During a session you focus on whatever you are worried or scared about (for example the thought of pain in labour) and tap on certain release points on the face, upper body and hands. These points are the same as acupuncture points which have been used successfully for thousands of years. You can then immediately check to see if the fear or worry has decreased or even gone completely. During the EFT session(s) you will be taught the simple technique, we will work through all your fears and anxieties, and then you will have a valuable relaxation tool to use yourself throughout your pregnancy and during labour. I have used EFT with many women during pregnancy and the results are outstanding. I am so confident that EFT will work for you that I offer a risk-free money back guarantee that you will achieve positive results within your very first session. Here is what two mothers have said about EFT: “I was left alone for over an hour (when in labour) as my husband went to work. I got through this time repeatedly going through the EFT routine, using it to keep myself relaxed. I was amazed that I didn't panic or start worrying about the possibility of giving birth alone! The labour was amazing.” - Mandy “The technique is so simple that I was able to use it in the run-up to the birth any time I felt nervous or worried, which was a real help. On the morning of the day I gave birth I did a round of EFT and began to feel much calmer, and anything that calms your spirit in labour has to be good! I know that EFT definitely contributed to my psychological well-being before and during labour.” - Anna Visit www.sarah-holland.co.uk/fpb.html to read more testimonials and full birth stories (with beautiful newborn pictures!). EFT is so effective for your pregnancy and birth because it: - is simple and easy to apply to yourself - can eliminate all anxieties and fears quickly - can be carried out from the comfort of your own home via the telephone - will make your pregnancy relaxed and enjoyable - will enable you to look forward to a positive birth – and know that you have a great technique to help you through! If you would like to have a relaxed pregnancy and look forward to a positive birth, think about using EFT. Please contact me with any questions you have – I will be more than happy to help. If you would like to book a session with the no-risk money back guarantee, email me or call me on (01462) 621393. Also please take a look at www.sarah-holland.co.uk/howto.html where you can learn EFT for free online and start working on your fears yourself NOW! Remember your 5 steps… Gain back control, get informed, make time for you, get excited about your baby, face your fears – and work on them! Wishing you a wonderfully relaxed pregnancy and birth and a happy, healthy newborn. |
| Posted: 16/06/2006 10:46:59 Last Updated: 26/06/2006 19:16:15 |
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